Review- Space Giraffe

Xbox Live Arcade
New Release
$5
Trailer

If you are able, you must try Space Giraffe. Space Giraffe is something so brilliant and so weird that most people will hate it. Video games of this sort don’t come along every day. It is special.

A hard game to describe, Space Giraffe is like if the classic arcade game Tempest had a baby with OMGWTF-Sweet-Zombie-Jesus-seriously-what-the-hell-is-going-on., and that baby was a KLF fan. Space Giraffe is a game that sure looks poorly designed but is actually staggeringly clever. Space Giraffe is very divisive. Space Giraffe is magic.

One has to mention Tempest when talking about Space Giraffe, since the game is so strongly reminiscent of that classic. In point of fact, the game's designer, Jeff Minter, designed the popular Tempest sequel, Tempest 2000. And indeed, on first glance, the game appears to be nothing more than a cheap clone of Tempest with overly busy graphics. This is a trap, the game’s first subversion, because when one first plays the game, one wants to approach it as if it were Tempest. Even if a player has never played Tempest, anyone familiar with twitch shooter video games will instinctively want to play this game using tactics that just won’t work because Space Giraffe goes to lengths to defy traditional patterns of play. The first key to Space Giraffe is understanding that, appearances to the contrary, this game is truly not Tempest.

Space Giraffe's next subversion is it's graphics. Some will love them, while many will hate them. Space Giraffe has a uniquely crazy landscape. It looks like it is set inside a music visualizer, inside the last 20 minutes of 2001, inside a psychedelic trip. This is very pretty, but it is horribly cluttered, and it makes the onscreen action very hard to follow. A classically grave design sin, Space Giraffe has carefully and deliberately given this game poor visibility, and this partial blindness is essential to the Space Giraffe experience. The second key to Space Giraffe is accepting that not being able to see what is going on can be a good thing.

If somebody told me that a game APPEARED to be poorly designed but that it gave that impression on purpose, and that if you didn’t like it, this was because you didn't "get it," well, I would be skeptical. Space Giraffe requires a leap of faith. It breaks cardinal rules of design and this makes it an uncomfortable experience. A Space Giraffe player is going to die “cheap” deaths. A Space Giraffe player must play first and understand later. A Space Giraffe player must learn to abandon reliance upon that which they see. Only when a Space Giraffe player has shed their preconceived notions of gaming can they accept the game on it's own terms.

The game starts with a tutorial, and it is a cruel thing. It teaches the mechanics of gameplay, while it purposefully obscures the game’s required techniques and strategies. One starts the game with no indicator of what to do. From the beginning, a Space Giraffe player is expected to teach themselves what they need to navigate the game. There is no roadmap.

Players are nudged into learning different techniques one at a time. After they have the basics down, they must learn that sound is very important in Space Giraffe. Your eyes will fail you. One can’t see the entire field at once, so one needs to listen for important cues of what is happening while one’s eyes are elsewhere. The game will lead the player into placing greater and greater trust upon what they hear. Once you have learned to balance the auditory with the visual, once you are comfortable, this too will fail you. Players don’t get to be comfortable playing Space Giraffe.

The threats in Space Giraffe feel less like enemies and more like hostile ecology. Players need to learn to intuit the threats’ behaviors, as in the later stages, what one can see and what one can hear will not be enough to navigate the game. Over time, a dedicated Space Giraffe player will learn how the various elements move and interact, and the player will come to react in a way that bypasses conscious awareness. Intuition informs movement, balanced by what one sees and what one hears. The entire game is spent learning how to play it.

The game is filled with a steady stream of nonsense and non sequiturs in the form of text and sounds and visuals. It is filled with references to chaos and to chaos worship and to the practitioners of such. It is played in a psychedelic environment, a deliberately poor environment for a structured game. All of this creates an atmosphere of Discordian mystique that I feel is reflected in the gameplay. I truly feel that Space Giraffe is a work of chaotic magic.

The whole of the experience of Space Giraffe is one of finding order in apparent chaos. The game is a journey of enlightenment disguised as a twitch shooter. You are in an environment with rules unlike the ones you understand, and every step of the way, the road changes. And as you travel the path, you learn. You find yourself able to play something that looks unplayable. It forces you to alter your perception to gain enlightenment. It transcends gaming and becomes mysticism. Many people will not enjoy this, and many will not understand it. But for the right sort of person, this is perhaps the most amazing game ever made.

Twelve Rebuttal

I felt the need to respond to Isaac's article about classic gaming found right here.I do admit I love the idea of being able to play my old games on my new systems (ps1 on ps3 or psp etc). I was, and still am, a big fan of using custom firmware on the PSP to play my old SNES, NES, Genesis, and Gameboy games on Sony's beautiful little handheld. Sony hates people like me, I know, but the system itself is shaped like an SNES controller. It's like a childhood fantasy come to life. An SNES controller with a giant vibrant screen, with all the games on it I could ever want to play. Ah, what I would have given for a PSP in 1992. But I digress.

So on the one hand, I agree with Isaac's article. However, there is still a part of me that loves holding the SNES controller in my hand and playing Super Metroid or Illusion of Gaia . In fact, I recently visited a friend at his new house. He was giving the standard new-house tour and we came upon his back room. In his back room was an ancient wood frame TV set like my grandparents and parents owned in the early 80s. Hooked to it, he had his NES and Atari 2600, and a ratty old couch in front of it. He still had an Xbox360, a big screen, and booming surround sound set up in his living room, but the classic gaming room was almost like stepping through a time portal back to 1989. As soon as i stepped into the room, i felt like a kid again. I couldn't say whether or not this room was an accident, but the feeling it brought me was something I honestly didn't expect.

So i guess I'm torn between both worlds. i love being able to play FFVI on my DSlite at the park, but I also love holding a worn out SNES controller in my hand and playing FF3 in the back bedroom. Same game, but almost completely different experiences for me.

As I thought about this, I had to question why they are 2 different things for me. I recently played all the way through Chrono Trigger again on my PSP while on breaks at work. It was great. I spent a lot of time going through the side quests and building up my characters and getting the best weapons. I played it on the PSP for the game (if that makes sense). Yet when I started up the SNES at home a few days later, I loaded up my Chrono Trigger file from years ago (where i had finished it 15 times) and started running through a newgame+ with maxed stats. But after about 10 min, I was no longer in the mood. I had fired it up on the SNES just for the feeling of playing it the way I used to play it. Holding the controller, feeling the callous-causing d-pad on my thumb and the concave X&Y buttons. I remembered that, as a kid, I never liked the X button for some reason. Sitting up on the top of the diamond layout like that. It just felt different than the rest. The point is, I played it on the SNES simply for the experience.

So while philosophically speaking, I agree with Isaac with regards to backwards compatibility and downloadable classics, there is still a 26 year-old gamer here who sometimes likes to relive his youth. My ideal situation, inconvenient (and possibly expensive) as it is, would be to keep all those vintage systems, and hook them up in a different room. Step into that room and sit down on your 1993 couch, turn on your 1993 game system and your standard-def TV, pop on a Metallica CD, and play Donkey Kong Country like it was meant to be played.

Giraffe-ing 2

I cannot review Space Giraffe because I still have no idea how to play it. I tried for 30 mins, but could not understand some of the basic mechanics (such as why I was dying). I must admit it's quite unique, but I'm not sure if it's for me. I will continue to try it though. I want to get at least one achievement and possibly figure out what I'm doing wrong.
I also keep procrastinating when it comes to writing legitimate reviews. Hopefully I should be able to review The Darkness, Bioshock, Metroid Prime 3, Capcom Classic Collection Remix, Kirby's Canvas Curse, Motorstorm, Flow... I've got a backlog of games that I've finished and failed to write about. That either means I'm lazy, or there are too many games coming out for me to keep up with.
Maybe if I stopped trying to level up my Night Elf Hunter each night before bed...

GIRAFFING

I CANNOT REVIEW SPACE GIRAFFE BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP PLAYING SPACE GIRAFFE!!!! IF YOU HAVE A 360 PLAY IT!! IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A 360 BUY ONE FOR SPACE GIRAFFE!!!

Just remember, it isn't Tempest.

New Super Mario Bros. - Review

Nintendo DS
New Release
$35

In 1985 Super Mario Bros. was a nuclear bomb of gaming. This game was a revolution, attractive, innovative, and brilliantly designed, Super Mario Bros. established the side scrolling platform genre of gaming, single-handedly reversed the fortunes of an industry that had gone terminal, and made Nintendo the face of video gaming.

The game was that good and that important. It invented dozens of gameplay conventions that continue to be copied to this day. To date, it is the best selling video game of all time, at the time it was arguably the best video game ever made.

Weirdly, it was followed up by not one, but two games called Super Mario Bros. 2, and even weirder, neither of them exactly are remembered as true Mario games. While they were both solid games, the Japanese one never had wide exposure, and the American one crowbarred Mario in a port of a different game.

However, in 1988, Super Mario Bros. 3 was released, and once again Mario was starring in what could be argued the greatest video game ever. With more and larger stages, vertical (and diagonal) scrolling, an assload of innovation, and a grand scope (Mario can freaking fly!), this game made the genius original game look quaint.

In 1990 Mario starred in one more side-scrolling masterpiece: Super Mario World. Considered by many to be the best platform game of all time, Super Mario World added further depth and size to the formula, with hidden exits, secret worlds, hell you could even replace the appearance of the entire world with an entirely different set of backrounds and sprites. This was the high point, for Mario, and for 2d platformers. After this game, the Mario franchise would transition to the 3d platform genre. Many people prefer these 3d games, but purists such as my self had been abandoned. Sixteen years would pass before there was another Super Mario Bros. game.

Finally in 2006, a new Mario Bros. game was released, called matter-of-factly, New Super Mario Bros. Given the legacy of the series, compounded by the very large time delay, this game had high expectations to meet. This game was expected to be the fourth great Mario game.

It isn’t. It doesn’t come close to meeting the expectations created by the franchise. This game, the one that compelled me to purchase the only true handheld system I own, is a complete disappointment, and a horrible waste of potential.

The game’s designers clearly love the old Mario games as much as I do. It is a love poem to earlier Mario games, calling back numerous elements from all the installments and also the 3d games. And while that may sound good, really it is a horrible thing. They spend so much time recreating elements of earlier games that they don’t leave room for what made the earlier games great, namely creativity and innovation. This game feels like an amateur remix of the original, 3, World, and 64. It has no voice of its own.

The game’s big addition to the formula is a pair of new mushrooms: one that makes Mario absurdly tiny and one that makes him absurdly large. This is a decent enough idea, worth exploring, but it isn’t given space to develop. These elements don’t feel integral to the gameplay, rather they feel tacked on and unnecessary.

I don’t know if the developers were concerned about the smaller screen of the DS or if they thought the portable market had a short attention span, or if they were just lazy developers, but the whole gameplay experience is short, subdued, and unambitious. Mario has lost his ability to fly, and with it he has lost most of the exploration elements. The stages are shorter, and unlike past games, they aren’t packed with secrets to discover. You follow a straight line from start to flagpole. You can actually see how far along the line you’ve progressed, because the bottom screen has the line and a pointer showing your location on it.

The game has ditched 2d sprites for 3d characters on a 2d map, and the models look uniform to how they do in established 3d games. It looks awful. Mario’s 1, 3, and World each had a distinctive, attractive art style that oozed charm and personality, whereas this game looks sterile, forced to fit a corporate dictated stylesheet.

Now, I may hate this game, but it isn’t crap. The levels are competently designed, there is some fun to be had, it is worth a play through once, especially if you love Mario. Actually, there are a few really good stages in there, a few points where the game briefly seems interested in doing something that hasn’t been done before. But only a few. The game just lacks spark, a decent game in a franchise of brilliant ones.

The Mario Bros.



Adam: Mario was originally a carpenter. Only in Mario Bros did he become a plumber. that's why he is climbing girders, using a hammer, and... saving women from monkeys? Not sure about that last part. But Mario was originally a carpenter.

Stephanie: I wonder what made him change professions.

Adam: He dabbled a bit in the medical field back in the late 80's. He doesn't even have a job anymore. Just parties all the time.

Stephanie: I think he is busy cleaning graffiti. Last time he and I hung out, Luigi was vacuuming a ghost house.

Adam: The Mario Bros. don't save the world anymore obviously. They just party party party, then spend a few days cleaning up.

Mike: Lest we not forget his stint as an artist.

Adam: Jack of all trades, master of none. That's how I look at it. You can't really depend on the Mario Bros., if you ask me.

Stephanie: They don't come across as competent plumbers to me.

Isaac: Hey. You go into the sewers and kill man-sized crabs. Then you can attack the Mario Bros.' plumbing chops.

Mike: This is true. I think they need to work on their navigational skills though. I mean, how many fucking castles do you go to before you think to yourself, "ya know, I think I should make sure my princess IS in this castle."

Isaac: I think someone's feeding him bad intel.

Mike: I knew that fucking Toad was no good!

Stephanie: Who is the architect for these castles? Why are there so many pits? I can't imagine anyone wanting to live there. The resale value must be horrible.

Isaac: Well, in 3 and and in World, Mario just destroys those things. Torched earth policy. So, the Koopa Clan would be able to collect on the insurance.

Stephanie: Well they are mostly dead.

Isaac: That's a good point. Mario has killed, what? 15 of King Koopa's children? There is no chance of truce.

Stephanie: Basically they were living in their graves.

Twelve

I need a DVD player to watch all of my movies. With my iPod, I can listen to all my music. In order to play all the video games I own, I have an Atari, an NES, a Super Nintendo, a Sega Genesis, a Sega Saturn, a Nintendo 64, a Playstation 2, an Xbox, a Game Cube, a Game Boy Player, a Nintendo DS, an Xbox 360, and a personal computer.

I’m not a collector. I don’t consider myself to be a “hardcore gamer.” I just like playing older games as much as I like playing newer ones. Why the hell do I need twelve systems? Why can't I play all the games worth playing on the current consoles?

Historically, the video game culture has been very focused on the future, often at the expense of the past. For any given hardware generation, only the largest hits have been kept in print, and once a new generation of systems are cycled into place, the vast majority of the earlier games are never re-released. The few games that do get a reissue are all too often plagued by a hideous need to give the re-released games graphical facelifts or to tweak gameplay, usually making them easier. To make matters worse, backwards compatibility is often unreliable if it is implemented at all.

The bottom line is, as hardware moves forward, older titles are left behind. To play older games legally on a couch, (as opposed to illegally emulated on a computer) one needs to keep and maintain a dozen aging consoles and likewise aging cartridges and discs. That, at least, is the current state of affairs.

However, attitudes have been changing, and things are improving for archivists. The Greatest/Platinum Hits model of republishing hit games for bargain prices has been brilliant for keepings games in print longer. Playstation One games are now being re-released for the PSP. Although poorly implemented, every current system has at least a head nod toward backwards compatibility. And most significantly, all three current home systems have created a means of selling affordable downloads of classic games.

Xbox Live Arcade. Wii Virtual Network. PlayStation Network. All three systems have a structure in place to sell you classic games for a low price point. This model of selling older generation titles is still new and unproven, but I suspect that it will be huge. Hardcore gamers like to have big libraries. Casual gamers like smaller, cheap games like they used to make. Finally, there exists an economically feasible way of maintaining a body of classic video game work.

This is good. Not only will this allow us to have more robust libraries and richer play experiences, it will also strengthen the art form. Gunstar Heroes and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night are brilliant games that helped shape the face of gaming. How absurd is it that they have spent years out of print, available only to those hardcore enough to pay collector’s prices? How can one discuss the impact those games have had, or learn better design from them if they aren’t available to anyone who wants a copy? As the video game culture finally adapts into a form where anyone will be able to play classic games on current generation hardware, the whole culture is enriched. A deeper intimacy with the entire history and spectrum of video games can only give the culture greater insight, and the medium greater legitimacy.

I don’t have to keep a record player to listen to The Who Sell Out. I don’t have to keep a VCR to watch The Graduate. Why should I have to keep an NES to play Metroid?

Final Fantasy 12

Final Fantasy 12

Developer - Square Enix

PS2

So, I finally put aside my dislike of the over-franchised Final Fantasy series, and gave Final Fantasy 12 its just play time. After about five hours of playing it, I almost wrote my review, wanting to give it a perfect 100. After calming down, and holding off, I continued the journey in the game, up to about 20 hours, and again, almost wrote my review, this time exceptionally disappointed with the way the game had treated me, and wanting to give it more like an 87. But again, I knew that a game of this caliber deserved a level head, so I waited on writing my review again until I finished the game. Now I have done just that, and I am very glad I did, because neither of those partially-informed reviews would have done the game justice.

Never in my life have I experienced the feelings of awe and excitement I got in the first 30 minutes of playing this game. Well, that is a lie – I have experienced that kind of reaction, it was just always reserved for particularly amazing movies. I have never seen a game like this before. It plays just like a high-end movie, and for the first time in my life I was crawling through the dungeons just to get to the next piece of story. I have never felt that way about a game before, it was phenomenal. The game opens up with some of the most impressive CG I have ever laid eyes on, and begins to weave its tale of empires at war immediately. There is no slow going here, there is no boring tutorial killing rats or wolves – you are immediately fighting for a cause – and the implications are astounding.

First of all, the thing that most impressed me with this game was the script. I often speak in absolutes, which is generally bad for someone reviewing a game, but believe me when I tell you I have put a lot of thought into my next sentence. This game has the greatest script in the history of video games. Period. There is no contest; there is nothing that comes close. Whoever wrote this script deserves a raise. And a trophy. And their own holiday. Lucky for us, the script is almost completely voice acted to perfection. The guys and gals that were hired for the voices are top notch. They deliver their lines with style and aplomb, and more than once I found myself laughing out loud, or gasping audibly in my living room. Good stuff.

The next thing that caught me was the animation. Not just the fighting animations, which are great mind you, but the cut scene animations. Many of the cut scenes are not CG pre-renders, they are in-game graphics, and the animations are all custom for each scene. “Lifelike” doesn’t even begin to describe it. They truly look ALIVE. They have different walks, and ways of standing, that all show the character’s individual personalities – and not in an exaggerated way. It is very subtle, but it shows. The facial animations are expertly done as well, and when I watched the credits, I saw that they actually had multiple people that worked on nothing other than facial animations. It paid off, let me tell you.


The game plays a lot like standard action RPG’s of late, but with some really nice twists and systems. For starters, there are no classes in the game. Skills, power ups, and spells are all acquired through a “License Board”. Let me explain; there is a large grid, with various power ups in all of the squares. Each one relates to a certain spell, ability, etc. When you slay enemies, you gain points that can then be allocated to various squares on the board, and when you learn one of the licenses on a particular square, the corresponding adjacent squares become available for purchase. This has been done before, but FF12 takes it a bit further.

Also on this grid, are squares for all of the equipment in the game. Every weapon, piece of armor, and accessory has a certain square, and in order to equip these items, you must first acquire the license for it. Now, at first I was elated at this system. I love it when a game gives the diligent player opportunities to advance themselves far beyond what is standard for their stage in the game, and I mistakenly thought by grinding down monsters and earning more license points than I really had a right to, I would then gain the ability to over-equip my character, or learn some particularly awesome spells earlier in the game. I was wrong. Not only do you have to possess the license for a piece of equipment, but you also must have progressed to a point in the game’s story where such things were available to you. It gave the game a very structured, almost claustrophobic feeling. Even the abilities you could buy licenses for required a trip to a store or a rare drop from a monster to get the actual ability, and you can bet they kept close tabs on when you were “allowed” to get certain things. I hate when games do that. It is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Also, I found that the license grid did not result in “classes” forming, but rather the opposite. When I first started into the grid, my original intent was to make a standard “fighter” character, and a standard “wizard” and a standard “healer”. I could have done this, for instance by buying up all the Black Magic spells for the “wizard”, and all the White Magic spells for the “Healer”. But they mete out the new items, abilities and spells so slowly, compared to the rate the characters advance, that within a relatively short amount of time, I had three clones of each other. There was no reason not to equip White Magic on everyone, not just my healer, so everybody became a healer. Everybody had the exact same spells and abilities. The only time a difference arose in the party, was when I found some piece of equipment that I only had one of. And that did NOT happen very often. In fact, when I defeated the last boss, every single one of my characters had the exact same of everything – all the way down to weapons and armor. For an RPG of such depth and sophistication, I find that unacceptable.

The gameplay itself was a joy, however. The fighting was fluid and tight – and I never felt bogged down or like I was “grinding” monsters. Each kill was quick enough to keep the pacing fast, but slow enough that there was an element of strategy to it. The control scheme was simple, with standard menu driven combat, but done in such a way that speed and quick thinking still played into whether you wound up dead or not. Simple, elegant, engaging, with a slight sense of urgency. Each time I fought an enemy it felt worthwhile. It felt like I was DOING something, instead of the traditional mind-numb that you can fall into when playing RPG’s. How this game got me to enjoy killing 100 enemies in a single stage before I could progress, I will never truly know, but they did it.

One thing in this game that I have never seen done before, in any way shape or form, was what they called the “Gambit System”. Gambits are a way of customizing the AI of your two party members. See, most games just have some type of traditional AI that the party members use, and you usually have no control over it. Sometimes it is good, and sometimes it is bad. A few choice games even game you some control over how your party members would behave – but nothing like this. Each character has a certain number of “Gambits” they can have equipped at any given time, and you get to write these Gambits yourself. Each Gambit is made up of two parts, basically a trigger and a response. For instance, a fairly simple Gambit you might want to make early on, would be something like “Player Any - <60% style=""> Clearly, this offers many possibilities.

By the end of the game, each of my characters had around 10 – 12 Gambits active at any time. When I needed it, they would cast Haste on me, making me attack much faster. When anybody got low on health, they would heal them. When they were affected with a status change, they would cure it. You can use any spell, item, skill or action in a Gambit. So, if a monster has Reflect on (it makes spells bounce off of them and hit the caster), a character’s gambit can tell it to stop casting spells on the creature. Things like that. AND, you have to find or buy each of the pieces of the Gambits in your adventures. So as you progress through the game, and gain more Gambits, your AI options become more robust, and you can rely on your party members more. I really enjoyed the Gambit system, and thought it worked very well in the context of the game. And for you hard cores out there, you can also manually control all the characters yourselves, even with Gambits turned on. Your manual control will take precedence over any Gambit that might activate, and after your command has been issued and performed, the Gambits will take back over. All in all, a great idea that both enriches the gameplay while at the same time simplifying it.

The sound is also just fantastic, and it is readily apparent that enormous amounts of time, money and talent went into the score. It feels like it BELONGS in the world you are playing in, and they never resort to overly dramatic music to tell the tale for them. The voice acting, script, and animations do that for you. The score is there to enhance, not overcompensate – and the result is a subtle boost to the overall feel of the game.

The graphics actually looked a little dated, even for the PS2, most particularly the textures in the terrain. I know, I know, the PS2 is yesteryear’s hardware, and I should cut it some slack, but I can’t. The low-resolution maps might look just dandy on a smaller screen, but on a big screen, the jagged lines and blurry details detracted from the overall appearance. This isn’t to say that the graphics were all bad, mind you, the character models and corresponding maps were top notch. I mostly had issue with the terrain, buildings and locales themselves.
The game is also just jam packed with extras. Hours and hours of side quests, special monster hunting missions where you play bounty hunter to the world’s most dangerous foes, and more. You could easily wring 100+ hours out of this game and never get bored. When I finished the game, there were many MANY spells, abilities and pieces of equipment I had never found – and I am contemplating going back into the world to find them.

This game brings a lot to the table, and no real RPG fan should go without at least giving it a fair shot. Even if you hate the gameplay (which I doubt), you will still have gotten to experience those first 30 minutes, where the story is laid out for you masterfully in a piece of fine cinema. Even if that is all you take from the game, it will be time well spent, and more likely than not, you will become hooked by the compelling tale, and want to continue this epic adventure. All in all, pound for pound, I would say this is Square’s finest hour, which is a truly remarkable feat indeed.


Score = 98%

Subjective Score = 95%

Counter-Review - Odin Sphere

Playstation 2
New Release
$40 New
(I borrowed Mike's copy)


Odin Sphere is a polished, unique, well-executed video game that I don’t like very much. Actually, I like half of it, and can’t stand the other half.

The thing I should love about Odin Sphere is the game's courage to blend action brawler elements with RPG elements with farming elements to create a unique gameplay experience. This is not what draws me to Odin Sphere. The thing about Odin Sphere that blows me away is that it is so damn pretty. It is an absolute 2D feast for the eyes. Playing this game on the PS2, it felt like I was looking into a window where video games had gone another way, where polygons hadn’t killed the sprite.

As a fan of 2D beat-em-ups, I really want to like Odin Sphere. It has a tight combat engine with well-considered strategies and balance. An engine that tight on a game this pretty, this should be a slam dunk game. Problem is, this game isn’t a straight brawler. It is an action-RPG hybrid, and the RPG elements grind away my joy in playing it. I’ve spent years coming to terms with the fact that I don’t like RPGs, and this game has all the elements I hate in the genre.

When you play Odin Sphere there is a general pattern of clear a board, manage resources, repeat. And the game’s resource system is very clever and very elegant. It is also not at all my idea of fun. I don’t want to spend half of my time in an action game brewing potions from complex recipes, I want to kick some ass and then kick some more ass. Unfortunately it felt like managing your items took more time than clearing the stages.

I tried to look past my annoyance with the micromanaging, but when I learned that you can add an item to a bottle of “materials” to make it more potent, and then do the same again with a second bottle, and that each potency would be measured by a number, and then you could mix the two bottles together, and that the resulting mixture would use multiplication to create a super potent mixture, and that you had to pay attention to what the ones place and the tens place of the new mixture were… well, that was when I realized that I hated Odin Sphere.

If the idea of multiplication in an action game doesn’t offend you, you’ll probably love Odin Sphere. Personally, I wish they would make an ass-kick remix of the game that keeps the killing and ditches the cooking.