10. Barnstorming

Barnstorming
Atari 2600
1982

So I’ve been slogging through my large supply of Atari games for a while now, so naturally my best friend gives me a box fulla even more Atari games. This means, that two weeks into this project and I’m back to the letter B. I’m never going to reach the N.E.S. Never.

Instead I’m going to play “games” like Barnstorming until I die of internal bleeding.

Seriously, Barnstorming, what the fuck? Who the hell made this? Who conceived this? Is this a joke? A game made as a dare? I’ve played some bad Atari games in my time, but this one leaves me with an uncomfortable burning sensation. 

This is the whole game: You fly a biplane above barns, trying to avoid geese and windmills. If you hit a goose or windmill, you are momentarily slowed down. You just keep going until you get bored and turn off the game in bitter frustration. 

I refuse to even classify this as a game. Barnstorming makes me yearn for yesterday when I was bitterly dying from Crystal Castles. Those were damn good times compared to this load of cartridge. The time I spent playing Bowling was productive and enriching compared to the time I spent playing Barnstorming. 

Barnstorming makes me want to set fire to my Atari for having ever been exposed to such a waste of time. Barnstorming wants me want to punch myself in the face for having ever seen this game. Barnstorming makes me want to track down the designer of the game, and write him a letter saying simply “you suck.” 



I’m going to kill my copy of Barnstorming.